Anyway, yesterday I was with Michi and Miu (Sarah), we went to Miu's place and ate BBQ, watched Watchmen, jumped on their trampoline, took a walk and made some chocolate balls (? xD). We had a really fun time, and planned a bit for what to do in summer.
And I decided to wear my new blue eye contacts, just to see if they were comfortable, which they were.
Here's a picture of Miu, me and Michi! (and when I'm wearing my blue eye contacts) :3
Anyway, I'm feeling glad because I got to spend some time with them. And that I'm going to watch Dark Shadows tomorrow with some friends too.
But at the same time, I feel a bit angst. I can't help but to feel.. lonely. Not in the way when you feel you have no one there. Because I know I have friends caring about me and so. But I feel lonely in the way when you have a relationship with no one. And to then realize you have feelings towards a person you know you won't have a chance with makes it all worse. Well, that person made me feel good, and is nice and so. But I know there's no chance at all to go for it. Because there's the problem with the distance between us, living in 2 completely different countries. To then feel like you're also too ugly enough for that person, since that person is really beautiful. I feel like I just want to scream and then break down completely, for not being good enough. Not to mention that we haven't met at all in real life.
I have been okay with being single, and to want to stay like this. But, this person really made me feel good, even if I think that sometimes it's just because we joke around a bit.
It's hard to think straight when you just realize this, so.. yeah, I'm not feeling good at the moment.
And I should probably stop, because I don't want people to listen to my problems so much.
Sorry! ♥
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